child loss, bereavement, tcf canada, tcf, compassionate friends, grief, grieving

Low Fat, Lite Holidays

I'm tired of LOW FAT. I'm tired of FAT FREE. I'm tired of thinking rice cakes are good! (They're NOT the same as Oreos!) I'm tired of trying to be creative in my thinking, my eating, my living; and I'm tired of dreading the holiday season. In fact, I'm just plain TIRED!

I saw my first holiday greeting card today, and I'm still in shorts and sandals. I thought I was tired of summer, but not so tired that buying a holiday greeting card was the answer. I must admit that the summer's heat could end now and I would not miss it, but must we rush the seasons that much?

It's one thing to wish for a cool day once in awhile, but the TALK SHOW HOSTESS does not have to share a recipe for preparing a low fat version of fruitcake on a show that still features HOT WEATHER GARDENING TIPS! I'm tired of RUSHING, too.

The holidays will be here soon enough. I think they actually start right after the 4th of July because that's when the clothing ads feature sweaters and winter coats. WHO can think of wearing WOOL when it's 103! AM I CRAZY or is the rest of the world nuts?!

I'm tired of dreading almost half of each year because some marketing expert thinks it would be "cute" to have Jingle Bells echoing through the frozen food section in the middle of August.
If I have to start thinking HOLIDAY in July, and it takes more than a few weeks to "recover" from The Holiday Season after it's over, then I really am spending almost half of each year coping with the holiday blues. And I'm TIRED of THAT!

Most people think THE HOLIDAYS start sometime in November, but for me, they never really stop. I can get depressed any time of year and blame it on the holidays (except for the month of August … there are no holidays in that poor month, but just being August is reason enough to be depressed.)

My reds and greens can turn to blue at any moment. It only takes a few notes of a song, a whiff of REAL food (low fat does not smell heavenly) or a trace of a memory to send me into the dumps. We can recycle pain ANYTIME, but somehow, once the displays are up in the stores and the weather turns cooler than before, the downhill slide towards THE HOLIDAYS intensifies.

By Halloween, I'm bracing for THOSE days and by Thanksgiving, the thought of being cheery is often simply too much to bear. Gifts? RIGHT! What could I possibly find, wrap, give or get that would lighten THIS load? Icicles form around my heart and THE holidays are only coloured with despair. I've forgotten where I stashed the gifts I did manage to buy during the sidewalk sales last summer, and that recipe for low fat fruitcake was copied down and promptly misplaced (for which my family and friends SHOULD be eternally grateful!)

By November, I've run out of options, however, and no matter how creative I am, there is no denying the approach of THOSE DAYS when the rest of the world looks far happier than I have been or will ever be. Even their voices are cheery as we slip past each other on the icy sidewalks! It grows dark at 4:30 in the afternoon, and there is little comfort in a carrot on a wintry day. I'm tired of LOW FAT substitutes for happiness. I'm tired of bracing for the memories that flood back to better times and for fearing the sights and sounds that only serve to remind me of what isn't anymore.

CAN ANYONE STOP THE HOLIDAYS PLEASE? CAN ANYONE FIND A FAT SUBSTITUTE THAT REALLY TASTES LIKE MOM'S PUMPKIN PIE? CAN ANYONE FIGURE OUT A CURE FOR THE PAIN OF THESE MEMORIES?

Probably not. So, as long as we are stuck with the approaching holidays and as long as we remain determined to be healthy and keep up the good low-fat fight, what can we do to turn this season of despair into a season of hope? Where are the beacons of light (recipes?) that make low fat anything acceptable?
Handling the holidays is not deciding how to eliminate the fat, the pain, the memories from our lives, but rather, learning how to LIVE WITH THE HURT INSTEAD OF BEING CONSUMED BY IT.

I'm tired of LOW FAT LIFE and I'm tired of dreading the approaching holiday season. I can't live with my entire being focused on fat grams and painful memories. So, since I can't eliminate fat completely and if I get rid of the memories, I must also get rid of the remembered joy, I'll just have to do what I can and forgive the rest. LIVE THROUGH THE HURT so JOY CAN RETURN TO WARM YOUR HEART.

The holidays are survivable just as fat is manageable. I'll have to run a few more miles and shed a few more tears, but I'm not going to let yesterday use up today and if I do find something wonderful to eat or a terrific memory to cherish, I'll enjoy them all.

I will not allow fat or pain or fear or sadness to ruin the entire season. It may not be the same as before we became health conscious or bereaved, but whatever IS CAN BE SOMETHING and that just may be the beacon of hope in this season of despair.

Grab the fruitcake and the low fat turkey and get moving to the rhythms of this holiday season the season where love and memory lighten the heart and chase the gloom. Skip the fat, shed the tears, light the candle and find the light. Make this holiday season full of LITE and LIGHT and LOVE... the best seasoning of all!

Darcie D. Sims