Grief: The Price We Pay For Love

The Compassionate Friends of Canada

child loss, bereavement, tcf canada, tcf, compassionate friends, grief, grieving

Grief:
The Price We Pay For Love

Grief is a NATURAL and NORMAL reaction to loss . . . loss of any kind. It is a physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological response. The death of a loved one is perhaps the most devastating loss one may experience. Yet, grief occurs following ANY change in our lives. Even positive changes can bring a momentary grief response.

Grief is a complex process, guided by our past experiences, our religious beliefs, our socio economic situation, our physical health and the cause of the loss. LOVE, ANGER, FEAR, FRUSTRATION, LONELINESS and GUILT are all part of grief. It is important to understand that grief is NOT a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith. GRIEF IS THE PRICE WE PAY FOR LOVE!

Grieving may cause physical and behavioural changes such as: sleep irregularities, changes in appetite, gastro intestinal disturbances, "heart ache", restlessness, spontaneous crying, irritability, sighing or muscle tension.

Anger and guilt are common emotions. You may feel angry with God, your spouse, your children or with others, either involved or totally separate from the death. You may be angry with yourself. Guilt feelings often accompany or follow anger. You may want to withdraw and be left alone.

Depression, feelings of emptiness or hollowness may temporarily overcome you. You may experience headaches, tightness in the throat or chest, muscle aches, or burning sensation in your stomach. GRIEF HURTS! You may, for a while, become preoccupied with images of your loved one. You may "see" or sense your loved one's presence. You may begin to wonder if you are going crazy.

You can help yourself through grief.

Acknowledge the loss.
Accept the pain of grief. Try to live THROUGH it, not avoid it.
Share your thoughts and feelings. Find enough compassionate listeners. You can talk more than one person can listen!
Understand that each person has an individual timetable for grief. Each person grieves separately and differently. We move through grief at our own pace.
Find your sense of humour. Try to hang on to it!
Get some physical exercise. If nothing else, jog your memory.
Learn to hug again.
Accept yourself. Understand you are someone new. Acknowledge that change.
Begin to become the person you already are...